October 14, 2012

The Strangest Search Keywords

Friends - I thank you for reading my blog. Or at least letting the page load.

I don't know how you all usually get here, but some people have most certainly been led here by mistake. At least three, anyway.

Sorry I'm not sorry.
You see, like any (most?) blog owner(s?), I like to look at my site's stats to see where the traffic is coming from, especially what search keywords people use to get here. It gives me a good idea of how to get more readers. Also I'm nosy. One day, last month, I was doing that exact thing, and saw... this.

This is why I hate humanity.

Now, first of all, none of the above have anything to do with my blog, except the one that is actually my blog's title. Thank you, 1 person. And I kind of understand some of the other ones since I've used pictures or captions that say that exact thing, like "I wish a motherfucker would" and "TGIF motherfuckers", which are actually both from "The 5 Levels of Being Pissed".

But, "not my period again"? And "pic of man with donuts on his cock"? WAT.
The "W" stands for "where".
It's my fault for posting the Drunken Donuts Guy story, as I know that that's the reason this person got routed to my blog. But honestly, who wants to see that? What kind of maligned and atrocious fetish is cock donuts?

And as for the not one, but two ladies (I hope ladies anyway) in dismay about their periods, I don't even know what to say. Get used to it, I guess?

But I'm not complaining. To me, it's just more readers. Well, hopefully. I mean, it makes me feel good inside to think that some confused girls were hoping for period advice and found my blog and ended up having a great day afterwards because of the lols. Lols are good for the soul, you know. And maybe, just maybe, that cock donut fetishist read the Drunken Donuts Guy story and got so incredibly disgusted (as I hope one would) that their fetish disappeared forever. Which makes me feel saintly.

"I sit and wait... does an angeeeel contemplate my faaaaate?"
 Anyway, that's the idealist in me. Most likely, all of those people loaded the page, saw that there was no period advice nor pictures of men with donuts on their cocks and promptly closed the tab to begin their search anew.

*Record scratch*

Well anyway, have a great day folks. And, you know, watch of for periods and strange fetishists. 

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