The Words that Get Confused with Other Words

I've seen such posts all over the interwebs addressing the issue of our society's decrepit spelling, but they never address the issues that I really have a beef with. Am I the only one who notices?

Whenever people make these mistakes, they make me think of this girl. English is a crazy language, I know, and the spelling makes no sense, but if my immigrant parents can get these words right, then so can anyone. Remember this?

You know what I mean.

"But Noor, why do you care so much?" Because A) I love language, A.5) You should love language too, and B) I used to be an English teacher. And C) With such an emphasis being placed on typed communication, isn't it important to know how to spell?

Here are a few words that people always seem to confuse with other words that aren't the word they meant to use.

In case you were wondering, I actually look like that.

#1.

What people say: "Weary/Wary"

 What they meant: "Wary/Weary"

Weary is when you're tired. Wary is when you're... hesitant. I, personally, am weary of seeing wary when I notice people meant to say wary when they said weary and weary when they meant wary. The kicker? They aren't even pronounced the same. I understand if people have problems spelling - that's totally fine - but when the word isn't even said that way... it makes me cry. Inside. Because I'm a man and men don't cry on the outside. Supposedly.

#2. 

What people say: "Loose/Lose"

What they meant: "Lose/Loose"

This one kills me. Here's an adage that I just made up to help out anyone who has trouble with this: If your shit's loose, you're gonna lose it. Get it? Because if it's loose, meaning not tight, you'll lose it, meaning no longer have it in your possession. And like weary/wary, these words are also not pronounced the same way.

#3.

What people say: "Allusion/illusion/elusion"  
What they meant: To sound smart.

No one understands what the fuck you're trying to say when you use such words.

That's it for spelling. Those three are the ones that needed some review. Things like they're/their/there and too/to/two have been addressed to death by other people, and at this point, I don't even care anymore. So let's move on to...

My right side is my good side.

#1.

What people say: "Warsh"

But that word doesn't have a(n): "R" in it.


Dear the Midwest and a whole fucktonovalotta other places,

STOP IT. JUST STOP IT. MY EARS CAN'T LOSE ANY MORE BLOOD OVER THIS.

Sincerely,

A concerned citizen.

#2.

What people say: "Expecially"

But that word doesn't have a(n): "X" in it.

"Especially" is spelled... well, like that. And that's an "S", kiddies. Remember, "S" goes ssssssss. Like... umm... like a snake! Snakes go ssssssssss. Unless they're choking. Then they go urrrkkkkkk. This rule also applies to the word "espresso". Anyway, here's an illustration.

His name is Pablo and he likes rabbits.

Poor Pablo.

Also, if anyone knows how to put pictures side by fucking side in Blogger please let me know because I wasted probably eleven minutes trying.


Moving on, here's the final lesson.

Just fyi, that's an eraser and a piece of chalk. I don't want rumors starting.

#1.

I know that punctuation has nothing to do with spelling, but I needed to say something. Don't you hate it when you see status updates or comments that look like this:

~*omg so today i totaly wante dto go to the beach with my fraaaaaands but i cudnt cuz it was so cold toddday and i rlly didt wan go to the beach when it was so cold o wel i gues thrs alwys tmrow rite hahahahlmaoroflolololololOLOLLOLOLPOPAIHJSKLHF!!K!J!!!!!*~

I sure do. Pass on the lesson of punctuation. And also the lesson of paying attention to what's being typed.

That's all. Class dismissed.

The Trials of Getting a Job

So you want to get a job? Good for you. Here:

 

 That's for you. Proud of you! :)

...

Now, onto serious business. You want to get a job? Well tough shit. Getting a job is hard. Getting a job  s u c k s. Getting a job is nigh impossible. 

"Oh N, why are you so pessimistic?" You may ask, out of desperation, probably because you really want a job.

Listen boys and girls. I've been out of college for a whole year and then some. I've had one job, and it was an internship overseas. I got paid in beans and rocks. And then five months ago, I came back here to the good ol' land of purple mountains majesty, exchanged the piddly remains of my beans and rocks for leaves and drool, and have been unemployed ever since.

"But did you look for jobs?" You exhort. Yes, yes I did. 

"But did you apply to jobs?" You beseech. Yes, most certainly I did. 

"But is your resume good?" You besmirch. Verily, it is. And you don't have to be so rude.

"But---" Yes. 

"And did you---" Yes. 

"And how about---" Of course. 

"BUT! I bet you didn't---" Oh, but I did. 

"Hmm... I know! You probably didn't---" Nope, I definitely did that too. On careerbuilder.com and everything. 

"Well damn." I KNOW!!!

At this point, I feel like this: 

I've had so many calls, so few interviews, and no second interviews (or job), that I feel trapped. Trapped, specifically because a lot of the jobs I want, I can't get. 

It's either, you must be 25 or older (I'm 22) or you must have 5+ years experience doing ________ (I have little to no experience doing most ______'s). 

So then you dig into entry level positions. And what are those like? Well...

And I don't really want to do something like that. I know that beggars can't be choosers, but seriously, look at this gem I found today:

"[Car Dealership] is looking for an ambitious, detail oriented multi-tasker to join our team as a part time cashier/receptionist... In this position you will process all payment transactions for customers in our busy dealership." 

Hey, Car Dealership, guess what? I've done something extremely similar to that before. It looked like this:

So anyway. How the hell do you get 5+ years experience before you're 25 in order to get one of the cool jobs out there? That's not rhetorical. Please tell me. 

Also, I have to share that I went to a group interview today, and was the youngest person there by 10 years, which was unnerving. Out of the four of us, there was one guy who was easily in his 50s, and of course he outshone us all. I wanted to tell him "Dude. Some of us actually need a job, so, uh, can you please go back to that place where you said you've been working at for 25 years?" Between him and this one girl, Stutterella, who was erupting sunshine from every orifice, I stood no chance.

I'm sorry. I thought I went to college and paid good money for a piece of paper that had at least some return on its value, but... well... I guess reality hits you hard, bro. 

Anyway. Back to the internet for me. And you. Or not. I think you should go make a sandwich.

Happy sandwiches. 

Marshall knows.