The Words that Get Confused with Other Words

I've seen such posts all over the interwebs addressing the issue of our society's decrepit spelling, but they never address the issues that I really have a beef with. Am I the only one who notices?

Whenever people make these mistakes, they make me think of this girl. English is a crazy language, I know, and the spelling makes no sense, but if my immigrant parents can get these words right, then so can anyone. Remember this?

You know what I mean.

"But Noor, why do you care so much?" Because A) I love language, A.5) You should love language too, and B) I used to be an English teacher. And C) With such an emphasis being placed on typed communication, isn't it important to know how to spell?

Here are a few words that people always seem to confuse with other words that aren't the word they meant to use.

In case you were wondering, I actually look like that.

#1.

What people say: "Weary/Wary"

 What they meant: "Wary/Weary"

Weary is when you're tired. Wary is when you're... hesitant. I, personally, am weary of seeing wary when I notice people meant to say wary when they said weary and weary when they meant wary. The kicker? They aren't even pronounced the same. I understand if people have problems spelling - that's totally fine - but when the word isn't even said that way... it makes me cry. Inside. Because I'm a man and men don't cry on the outside. Supposedly.

#2. 

What people say: "Loose/Lose"

What they meant: "Lose/Loose"

This one kills me. Here's an adage that I just made up to help out anyone who has trouble with this: If your shit's loose, you're gonna lose it. Get it? Because if it's loose, meaning not tight, you'll lose it, meaning no longer have it in your possession. And like weary/wary, these words are also not pronounced the same way.

#3.

What people say: "Allusion/illusion/elusion"  
What they meant: To sound smart.

No one understands what the fuck you're trying to say when you use such words.

That's it for spelling. Those three are the ones that needed some review. Things like they're/their/there and too/to/two have been addressed to death by other people, and at this point, I don't even care anymore. So let's move on to...

My right side is my good side.

#1.

What people say: "Warsh"

But that word doesn't have a(n): "R" in it.


Dear the Midwest and a whole fucktonovalotta other places,

STOP IT. JUST STOP IT. MY EARS CAN'T LOSE ANY MORE BLOOD OVER THIS.

Sincerely,

A concerned citizen.

#2.

What people say: "Expecially"

But that word doesn't have a(n): "X" in it.

"Especially" is spelled... well, like that. And that's an "S", kiddies. Remember, "S" goes ssssssss. Like... umm... like a snake! Snakes go ssssssssss. Unless they're choking. Then they go urrrkkkkkk. This rule also applies to the word "espresso". Anyway, here's an illustration.

His name is Pablo and he likes rabbits.

Poor Pablo.

Also, if anyone knows how to put pictures side by fucking side in Blogger please let me know because I wasted probably eleven minutes trying.


Moving on, here's the final lesson.

Just fyi, that's an eraser and a piece of chalk. I don't want rumors starting.

#1.

I know that punctuation has nothing to do with spelling, but I needed to say something. Don't you hate it when you see status updates or comments that look like this:

~*omg so today i totaly wante dto go to the beach with my fraaaaaands but i cudnt cuz it was so cold toddday and i rlly didt wan go to the beach when it was so cold o wel i gues thrs alwys tmrow rite hahahahlmaoroflolololololOLOLLOLOLPOPAIHJSKLHF!!K!J!!!!!*~

I sure do. Pass on the lesson of punctuation. And also the lesson of paying attention to what's being typed.

That's all. Class dismissed.