August 15, 2012

The Time I Got Towed

It doesn't need to be said, but I will say it anyway: Getting towed fucking sucks. Also it's (one of) my worst nightmare(s). Also it's one of the reasons why I hate living in a city.

You know those signs that say "No parking here to corner - TOW ZONE"? Well, when I look at them, they might as well say "No parking here to corner - YOU'LL GET FIRED" because that's what getting towed feels like. I get paid all of six kidney beans and seven grains of flour per hour, so paying for the ridiculous towing fees seriously breaks my bank.

I don't photograph well.
Sadly, one time, I got towed. :(

And I was livid. And extremely sad. And stranded to boot! What a heinous concept, towing. Everything to do with cars is just a money drain and something needs to be done about it. We should sign a petition. I don't know exactly what the petition would say quite yet, but we should all sign it. Any ideas, toss them in the comments.

Anyway, one time I got towed.

My thoughts: "Better go make some chili I guess."
Earlier, I said getting towed was my worst nightmare, because it is (one of them), and the only good part about it all was that I got towed with my phone on my person, not forgotten about in my car. So, luckily I wasn't stranded but I was still very pissed.

So I got home and made some chili (out of my salary, you know) to pay for the towing fees being that that was all my wages were good for, and the next day I went to the tow yard. This was a harrowing experience.

I get there, and the guy at the counter's like "Whaddayawant", and the sarcastic asshole in me wanted to say "You won the lottery!", but I was not in the mood to be cute that day. I explain how I got towed, tell him my car's information, and he has the audacity to say "Wow, how did you feel when you saw your car wasn't there anymore?"

All I wanted to respond was "Probably how you're about to feel when you look and see your teeth aren't there anymore", but I just smiled (feebly) and said "Hmm". Because if I tried to make any words, I would've said something terrible, and it's probably not a good idea to fuck with someone who is in control of your car.

Anyway, I paid the guy one bowl of chili and he said "Your car's out there somewhere", which is when I realized I had to search for it in this Central Park of cars. And, you know, my car is black and has wheels so that didn't take forever at all.

Ah, you know my secret. I reuse printer paper that may or may not have stuff on the other side.
The kicker? When I finally got to my car, and thankfully saw there had been no damage from the tow truck, I got in, turned it on, and drove away very happily... until I remembered that I was almost out of gas. OH THE SYSTEM, HOW I HATE THEE.

Watch where you park, boys and girls.


  1. A car I had BORROWED once got towed while in my possession. At midnight. In February. In Canada, the True freaking North.

    Yeah, not a good time.

    Also, this:

    "And, you know, my car is black and has wheels so that didn't take forever at all."


    1. Ouch, a car you borrowed got towed? Now that is some bad luck.
      And doesn't it suck having a car that pretty much blends in with EVERYTHING? I've gotten lost in so many parking lots.

  2. This makes me glad that I don't have a car. And the fact that it is nearly impossible to park anywhere in Seattle. And they cost money and then more money for gas and maintenance and whatnot.

    1. Be very, very glad that you don't have a car! It's such a hassle.

  3. I had a car towing experience that is the mother of all car towing experiences!! Meet me at the bar and we'll swap stories.

    1. I'll see you at the bar in a few days then! Being that we can't go quite yet... lol.